Jesus, on this one we have to give it to you. You didn’t send Mary back to the kitchen just because she was a woman. You affirmed her right to stay with the guys because, like you said, she chose what was best for her and you wouldn’t take that away. Yeah, this fits in with how things should be. No problem here.

Well, thanks, but not so fast. If you are assuming this is some kind of feminist liberation call, you’re two steps behind and five miles ahead. Jesus didn’t go around saying that kind of thing. At best, this vignette is a tiny foretaste of the equality women would achieve, how women have the right to learn directly from Jesus as any man. But it was no call to protest the cultural expectation of the first century. Other questions have to be resolved instead.

The Fairness Question

Clarification is needed here. Martha was the one who extended the dinner invitation to Jesus. In that day, men were supposed to do it. No mention is made of a man in this household, not even her brother Lazarus about whom we know from other stories. Martha, possibly a widow, took on that role. She was independent enough and likely financially stable so she could throw a dinner party for her honored guest. To be fair to her, you have to recognize this background and how she pushed some boundaries.

Still, the question she raises concerns all the work it takes to pull it off. No surprise the men are sitting around. Martha is exhausted from the physical labor as well as the worry and stress of the effort. She needed all hands on deck, meaning female hands, while her sister Mary sat attentively taking in Jesus’ teaching and not contributing one single bit to the meal. You can just about see the steam rising from Martha’s head at the sight of this adorable picture. What’s fair about all that? Not much from Martha’s perspective or most people who might be in the same situation.

Responsibility for Self

Now, if you have a problem with someone, the responsible thing would be to address it, right? Martha is the head of that house, the one with the power. Even if she wasn’t so frustrated, she still should take care of it. Unfortunately, she goes about it the wrong way. She triangulates.

Admit it. We all do it. Instead of confronting the person with whom we have an issue, we take it elsewhere, asking other people to do the job. Understandably, Martha was very tired, and maybe she just didn’t want the battle on her own. Possibly she also was a little jealous that Mary had found acceptance from Jesus in a way that Martha hadn’t felt she achieved and wanted some of his attention for herself.  Evidently, Martha sensed she was losing that power with which she ran her house, so she turned to the one with ultimate power.

“Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” Don’t you care about what I’m trying to do for you here? Somebody has to get this food to the table. It won’t happen on its own. Make her get off her backside and get behind what’s going on here. Show some justice!

To Serve and To Seek

Jesus doesn’t bite but than again, he’s gentle in how he affirms both sisters. “My dear Martha,” he says, “You are so upset over all these details!” He recognizes Martha’s frustration in what she’s trying to do for him. She’s beyond worry now, distracted, not able to get things done as they should be. Not that the dinner wasn’t important, but Jesus speaks to what the dinner has done to Martha making her distressed and frazzled. Jesus doesn’t want anything done for him to do that to others.

“There is really only one thing worth being concerned about.” Jesus extends to both sisters. “Mary has discovered it—and I won’t take it away from her.” Only one thing is necessary, fundamental to where both of the women are.

Just as Martha acted outside the cultural expectations for women, so had Mary. To sit at the Teacher’s feet as he taught was to act as a disciple. Both women were radicals for their time. What their actions and positions afforded was a place for both. For Mary to sit close to Jesus may have raised some eyebrows. Jesus allowed her to do so because he saw beyond her gender and met the needs of her soul in doing so.

Likewise, by affirming Martha in her emotional upset, Jesus met her most pressing need. Her service was not discounted nor made into more than it was. All she needed was support in her efforts and recognition that they were in response to this same thing Mary sought.

Both women acted out of a dedicated love for their Master and Messiah, their Lord. Jesus doesn’t elevate learning from him over serving for him. One thing is necessary, learning and absorbing into oneself who Jesus is, which in turn gives service full meaning. Each without the other is less than it should be. Look at two sides of the story to know it fully.

Luke 10: 38-42