Jesus, you are the perfect example of the observation, “When you are invited to a dinner, you are either a guest or you are part of a menu.” (Guy Verhofstadt)  Everybody is always watching you, sizing you up, holding their breath to see what you might do next. You look like you’re there to eat as much as you’re there to preach.

Such an observation demonstrates how much you can learn about people, even Jesus. Yes, many times Jesus was present at a meal. He apparently enjoyed eating and the company a good meal gathered. And interesting things certainly happened during those events.

Mary and Martha liked to have him over, though apparently Martha did most of the work. He actually invited himself for dinner at the homes of “notorious sinners” like the tax collector Zacchaeus. He threw his own party when he fed 5000-plus people  on just a couple fish and barley rolls. Don’t forget either how he provided good wine for a wedding feast.  Even the last night he spent with his disciples, he hosted the Seder meal for Passover.

Over many meals, Jesus also taught life lessons in story form, parables in which people could see themselves and learn about the character of God. Inherent in settings like this is not only good eating, but the filling of the soul.

Sabbath Work

It must have been early in the evening, the Sabbath day having concluded with the reading of the ancient holy writings and interpretations by religious leaders. Jesus was the invited guest of a Pharisee. Everyone had an eye on Jesus because in the house was a man clearly ill with a disease that swelled his extremities. What would Jesus do about it?

He’d been through this before when challenged in a synagogue about healing a woman there. Strangely, some considered healing on this day set aside by God for rest was considered breaking a commandment. Never mind that healing, often instantaneously, would be a miracle, something that only God could do. Typically, these uncaring religious leaders had no comment, and Jesus healed the poor guy with just a touch. He then pointed out, in matters of dire necessity like if your ox falls in a ditch, you do what you have to do. He implies, would not a human being deserve as much? Again, he silenced them by exposing their uncaring attitudes.

(Luke14:1-6)

Messiah Man, we get it. You show compassion over compliance to the letter of the Law. Sure, you walk a fine line with these guys, hounding you like some tabloid trying to get video to trip you up, finish you off. You don’t walk away from that. Sometimes though, don’t you think it’d be wise to just excuse yourself, make yourself scarce until they calm down?

Jesus knew like any good teacher that the more frequently you teach a lesson backed with diverse examples, the better the chance it might get through to the slow-learners of humanity. He pressed on right into the oppressive social mores of the day. Some days nothing is hands-off sacred.

Who Decides Where a Guest Should Sit for Dinner?

These people were not only there to eat well but to promote themselves. You know, don’t pass up any good opportunity to network and pitch your business plan and political objectives. Evidently, it was all too obvious that day by how people scrambled and jockeyed to get the best seat near the head table.

Two thousand years and not much has changed. Even etiquette queen Emily Post still advises seating according to rank. You’ll know where you stand when told where you’ll sit according to this protocol perspective. Expect Jesus to follow this format? The guy who twists one of the Big Ten Commandments to advantage sick people? Yeah, right.

None of this snobbery gets past him. Jesus tells them, Whoa! Not good. It’s a set up for embarrassment and being socially demoted. Ultimately, the host has the final say where people land. Should he decide someone else deserves more rank, you’ll get booted closer to the door. Instead, start with a seat more like at the foot of the table, and when the host insists on moving you up, you’ll get noticed. Now that’s a better way to work a room.

How To Decide Who to Invite to a Dinner Party

More basic to Jesus’ cause though is who gets the big invite. Jesus addresses the host next, the Pharisee leader who threw this big party. Realize what bad manners Jesus’ speech entailed as he lectured the guy on how to host a crowd. With a nod to those like the guy he just healed, Jesus challenged the guest list. More likely they looked like the kind of party Emily Post was known to have, all poured from the same mold, impeccably dressed and bejeweled, ones who never knew a day of hunger in their lives. From this crowd a return invitation for the guy giving the shindig was more likely.

Jesus’ kind of party instead was made up of those who just couldn’t repay the favor, the poor, sick, deformed, blind. Who more would appreciate a good meal and favored attention from the host? Jesus’s story was meant to sit at the table, be one in humanity together. Whereas the rest of the world might not find elevated esteem in being among those who sat at the bottom of the ladder, this kind of host would find notice instead by God. That sort of payback was eternal.

Why Good Manners Are Important

Really Jesus? Next you’re going to tell us which fork to use with which serving? Don’t bother. It’s clear this little life lesson is one you always fall back on. Take care of those who don’t have the advantages, privileges, resources that make life easier. It’s the love your neighbor thing. Fine. You can let up on this one.

Glad you got that much. Just to point out though, in this little life lesson Jesus is emphatic in telling it. Sure, most of the time he preaches to a crowd, and it’s easy to assume he means it for the other guy. But this time, it’s all about YOU, You as in the second person singular. That’s right, he’s speaking right into your face just so you don’t miss what he’s saying.

The other thing you need to get in your head and deep into your heart is that by serving others, Jesus expects your giving to be genuine and generous. Don’t try to fake it. Make it part of your daily lifestyle. Take a good hard look at your relationships. Do all your friends look like you, come from the same place, get together for dinners, parties, banquets and leave out anyone who’s not as vanilla as you? Think if you just volunteer once in a while at a shelter or drop off groceries at a food bank you’ve done your part and God is good with it?

Does your mind more often think about what’s in it for you than what you’ve got to give to others? Getting on board with Jesus requires reversal of that mindset, an adoption of a new attitude. “Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.” (Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life, page 148)

The benefit/blessing is that as Jesus noted the seating arrangement at this dinner he attended, so does God. As it is, social practices are important because they highlight what God hopes humanity will achieve for each other through what Jesus taught not-so-little life lessons. God wants to return the favor.

“The proud will be humbled, but the humble will be honored.”

 Luke 14:1,7-14